does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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