is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
We are two peas in an std pod
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize