I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
