Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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