he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
