i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
