You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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