Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
