woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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