hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
