I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
