I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize