Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
