So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
