why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
