i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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