You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
