whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
