In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
