i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
