..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You ate ashes out of my bong
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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