Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
send nudes
from the living room?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
