did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
