I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Randomize
