She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
