your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
