hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
