He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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