Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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