theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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