We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
