She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
