He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
