i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
