our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
