super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Randomize
