apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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