btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Someone signed my nipple.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
