And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
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