so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I want her autograph on my taint
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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