over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
