Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
