Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
