so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
