But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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