Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
50% drunk capacity currently
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
