You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
