if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
how does that bad decision feel?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
