Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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