people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I believe in your delicious
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm like, not good at living.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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