we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
