Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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