why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
