it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
