A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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