real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Randomize
