it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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