Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize