so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
