Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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