I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
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