got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
