he puts the penis in happiness.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize