The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
