so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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