Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
