Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
