I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
