does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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