but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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