He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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