We're like a lot better than the average bears
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
