I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Then you guys just all showered together...?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize