The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize