I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
