I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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